Remembrance sunday, a hundred years down the road.

   Irishmen, we need you now more than ever. Rally to the cause. Yes, don't worry. we will get you Home Rule when this little matter is sorted out. You see, the cursed Hun has overrun little Catholic Belgium.Blighters! We hear they are burning churches and convents and killing priests and nuns.What barbarians! You wouldn't catch us British doing such deeds. Well after all you didn't have churches to burn as we took them off you and gave them to ministers of the true faith of Henry 8th. And it would be hard to burn a mass rock out in some remote and lonely spot in Dear old Erin.Hah ,ha ha. As for killing priests; well for a while we did have to control their numbers, Wolves were running wild and so were priests. £5 for the head of wolf or priest was a fair way to deal with a very serious situation.. They kept the damned natives er sorry , the Irish people from changing their faith to our much better and improved version.
     So help us to save little Catholic Belgium from the Hunnish invader. What right have they to invade their little neighbour Darned curs. If you spill your blood in our cause we will be kind to you and give you what you want. Our word is our bond/ Old Britannia never tell lies.And remember our kindness to you in your hour of need .When your 'praties' rotted didn't the Kings' Mama .our most gracious Victoria send over £5 to help feed the 9 millions starving peasants. She cared so much for all her subjects. Didn't she give £5 to Battersea Dogs Home the very same day.
     So ,brave Irishmen, we beg you to join with your Celtic cousins in Wales and Scotland and rush to the nearest recruiting barracks where you will be fully kitted out with fine new boots and overcoat. Our Brave English officers will train you in the art of fixing bayonets and charging into endless salvoes of machine gun fire. They will watch all your brave and valorous deeds on the field of battle through their binoculars. You might even win a Victoria cross if you manage to come home in one piece, or even if you come home in several pieces.
        Remember, and  never forget how long we have been friends. Isn't it now 700 years or more since we came over to pay you a visit for the first time. And we have always got on like a house on fire; or many houses on fire.Rest assured that if you do not return you will always be remembered..There will always be a little ceramic poppy to honour your supreme sacrifice for the King who loves you so much. To arms, brave fools er sorry, brave irish warriors, to arms.